I didn’t put my finger on it until Monday afternoon. I finally became aware of what’s been going on with me lately... I’m depressed! It may seem strange to the reader, that someone could be moving through their life without even knowing depression is present, but that’s EXACTLY what my experience has been as of late.
When I first realized this was going on I went to the web to see what sort of treatment was out there these days. I haven’t had to deal with this in a long time and wanted to find out what was being said about handling depression in 2007. I’m thinking more along the lines of a psychological approach than drug therapy. I’d like to avoid the Prozac/Zoloft thing if possible.
I came across one writing that pretty well summed up what’s been going on with me. They wrote of the “3 D’s” of depression... Despair, Defeat, and Disappointment.
Those 3 feelings have been present in my life since my friend was euthanized on 12/14/06. I’ve gotten virtually no acknowledgement (never mind consolation or support outside of my own home) from the people who were supposed to ensure that this wouldn’t happen to her, although I filed a grievance on my deceased friend’s behalf on January 9th. It just doesn’t seem to matter to them. I guess I have a few more “D’s” to add... Disgust, Distrust, and Drained.
The best thing is that I understand this is not a permanent state I’m in. It will pass, and I will be okay when it does. It’s the “right now” that really sucks.