I've been feeling a bit melancholy lately. I go through these periods every so often; feeling like I haven't yet left any real mark of significance on this world, and realizing I'm not going to live forever. I used to make light of it when I was younger, but the meaning now seems to walk beside me as I age.
I just want to know that my existence wasn't in vain. I want assurance that the challenges I've faced and the battles I've fought meant something to someone beside myself. Maybe my real problem is that enough is never enough for me. Insatiable ego. I also find myself wondering if other people feel the same way. If they do, I think they mainly keep it to themselves, rather than plastering it on the internet for the world to see.
What brought me out here today was the song "Landslide" by Stevie Nicks. As I listened to it, an overwhelming feeling of longing swept over me. Flashing on many of the people who have come and gone throughout my life, and others that remain in it. I want to tell them all that I love them and think of them often. That's the truth. I know there are some people I've hurt, but that was never my intention. I'm just a lumbering human who has pushed some people around.
There is some solace in knowing that my writings have produced almost 40,000 page views of this blog, and my hope is that it's inspired some people somehow.